Born To Die
by x0clairedelunex0
Summary: As Claudia passes into the next world, she looks back on her life and tries to discover it's true purpose.


**Born To Die**

_To Lena, for helping me out of my comfort zone_

_Long live Claudia_

I never knew why I was born

Life was wasted on me

I was good for nothing

And nothing I would be

My mother was gone a long time ago

My father kept me out of spite

He never really loved me

He just loved to win a fight

I always seemed to be the prize

That was won but never enjoyed

First my father, then Trevor, then Sonny

It was something I'd never avoid

Trevor—how much I hated him

He'd made my life a living hell

There was one thing that he wanted

And I knew it very well

I finally decided to give it to him

Hoping my time with him would be dead

But what happened next I didn't expect

I was to leave instead

I spent my time in Italy

A strange and different world

Where a monster was created

Out of that scared little girl

For years I waited for my chance

I sat and bade my time

Until the moment finally came

I would get what was rightfully mine

I returned home without a heart or soul

I had made it to the top

But the higher up you start to go

The harder you land when you drop

It was then that my life had started to end

It was the beginning of my fall

Fate had dealt me an awful hand

I didn't have a chance at all

I only loved one thing in the world

My baby brother, John

But when he was taken from me

I knew that it was on

Mr. Sonny Corinthos

My lover? My enemy? My friend?

Where do things stand between us?

Even I can't comprehend

One day we hate each other

And the next he's in my bed

One day he wants to kill me

The next he marries me instead

We never really got the chance

To find out how we feel

Was our love covered up with hate?

Or could it have actually been real?

At this point, I hated him

He had taken John from me

This hurt more than anything in the world

I wouldn't let it be

In anger and fury I vowed to him

That he would eventually pay

Little did I know exactly how

That fateful day

I picked the time, I picked the place

I picked the people, too

It was all on me, I will admit

But I didn't know what Ian would do

Sonny had decided, that day of all days

To bring his son along

But it didn't change Ian's actions

Everything still went wrong

He shot the gun, not thinking twice

About our unexpected guest

The bullet ricocheted

And—well, you can figure out the rest

I'd never meant for it to happen

I didn't know Michael would get in the way

I never wanted him to get hurt

I regretted it every day

That night didn't turn out as I'd planned

It ended up as my fatal mistake

And, as I would later learn

It wouldn't be the last one that I'd make

Time passed; the guilt didn't

There was nothing I could do

I was too busy being the dirt

On the bottom of my father's shoe

He was still blaming me for everything

He was not my biggest fan

Until, one day, I had a purpose

I would help him with his plan

My part in his scheme was simple

I would be sold like cattle on a farm

To Sonny, the person in the world

Who would do me the most harm

I struggled and fought it until one day

I had a seemingly brilliant thought

This could be very good for me

I was not simply being bought

It was a chance at power

The first real one I'd ever had

And so I married my enemy

And watched it all go bad

My guilt was not a secret

There was someone else who knew

He started with his torturing games

He left me the first clue

I tried to keep my secret sealed

But I didn't think to plan

For the day when the evidence would fall

Into some very spiteful hands

I went and sat down in my corner

I was prepared to die

Until it finally hit me

Like lightning from the sky

What I did was so unlike me

Yet it brought me the greatest joy

To save my life from certain death

I got my baby boy

At first, it was just business

But then I started to see

That he wasn't just a little shield

There was life inside of me

I cared for that baby with all my heart

I loved him more each day

So why, God, did he leave me?

Why did You take him away?

I can't help thinking, here and now

What if he didn't die?

Would everything have turned out different?

Would I still be alive?

After his death, I never healed

I started falling to my end

Sure, on the outside I was okay

But my insides would never mend

I didn't suffer in pain for long

Death was coming for me

I would not live past my birthday

Time wouldn't let it be

My secret had been uncovered

There was no turning back

My life would soon be over

Like a train falling off the track

But Sonny wouldn't let me die

Without people knowing my game

He told my secret to everyone

He let me feel the shame

He called me names; that wasn't new

But then he said something more

He was glad our baby had died

I never had such pain before

The walls were closing in around me

He had left me without a voice

There was only one thing that I could do

I didn't have another choice

I took from him something that he loved

I did what he had done to me

I let him feel the pain of it

I let him finally see

It hurt me to take that final stand

Knowing the condition Carly was in

But you fight fire with fire

And you fight sin with sin

Her baby was in danger

That I surely knew

But I wasn't going to let her die

And I'd save her baby, too

I guess it was the last good thing

I did before my time

But that moment was quickly over

When I wanted that baby to be mine

That rosy face, those perfect eyes

I was in love at my first sight

I could take the little baby now

Carly couldn't put up a fight

I had almost made it out the door

When everything went black

My life was finally over

I was never going back

It was Michael who had killed me

He had delivered that fatal blow

I had taken a year of his life

I guess I deserved that way to go

Revenge is a dish that's best served cold

And is usually completely fair

So, I wonder, now that I'm gone

Will people really care?

I doubt anyone will mourn my death

They'll probably rejoice instead

I can hear them starting to sing it now

"Ding, dong, that bitch is dead!"

I was an awful sister, an awful daughter

And definitely an awful wife

So why did God put me here on Earth?

What was the purpose of my life?

I was born to hate; I was born to hurt

I was born to cheat and lie

But what was I really born to do?

I was born to die

_Rest in peace, Claudia Antonia Zacchara Corinthos (October 29, 1979-October 29, 2009)_


End file.
